Below you will find links to websites, communities and books which will help you in your healing process.
* SurvivingInfidelity.com is a website which has an active support community
* MDJunction.com is a website with an active community and has specialized forums for unique circumstances
* After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful by Janis Abrahms Spring. This is a good resource book written to address both the audiences of both wayward and betrayed spouse. Activities and exercises are presented throughout for reinforcing the lessons from chapter to chapter. The book isn't for everyone and not all advice is relevant to all situations. Overall, a very good book for learning the other party's point of view.
* Getting Past the Affair: A Program to Help You Cope, Heal, and Move On -- Together or Apart by Douglas Snyder. This was recommended by my wife's individual therapist for us to read. Extensive exercises are present throughout and advice and examples are plentiful. The audience is primarily the betrayed spouse but the exercises and some dedicated sections are intended for both partners. The exercises in the book are time-intensive and may benefit from involving your marriage counselor to ensure an honest, transparent, full-disclosure approach is being followed by both parties.
* Transcending Post-Infidelity Stress Disorder: The Six Stages of Healing by Dennis Ortman. Written with the betrayed partner as an audience, the book has many examples throughout. The author relates, quite intuitively, the effects of learning about an affair to PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). PTSD is most known by its impact on soldiers and first responders who suffer through life threatening situations. The author coins the term PISD (post infidelity stress disorder) and relates the shock of losing the beliefs one has about their marriage and life to PTSD and details how PISD and PTSD sufferers can heal. The book is heavy on spiritual aspects of healing (non-denominational).
* The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) offers resources for those suffering depression, anxiety, and other serious mental disorders such as bipolar disorder.
* MDJunction support group, Spouses of Bipolar in Active Relationships provides support for those of us in relationships with bipolar spouses. Other aspects of mental health disorders are also present on the site as support groups, including; depression, borderline personality disorder, and others.